Wednesday, February 13, 2008

How to Fall on your Sword

FREE lessons and instruction book available! Act now!

Falling on one’s sword is a noble gesture, but not everyone is able to undertake this act. Fear not! Co is willing and able to give one-on-one lessons on the feat. First tip: He recommends you start by sitting on a knife. Then move up from there.

'Twas the night before Quad prep v.2…. I was running about getting my things ready for the bike and run sections of the race. I was also thinking to myself – WHY am I still awake!?! It is 11:15. I have to get up at 5:30, with a long day ahead of me. *grumble grumble.*

Then Co calls from the other end of the house, “Mo, I need you.” I thought he wanted me to help him test this computer game scenario. “you’ve got to be kidding me…” *grumble grumble.* I took my time. I round the corner and see Co in the bathroom, with his pants around his ankles, blood on them, and Co looking a little panicked. He had stabbed himself in his inner thigh. See, he was playing with this military-type knife he uses to open letters. Then he set it in his lap while he was talking to friends on the computer. Then he adjusted his seating to sit on his ankle, and as he sat back down he stabbed himself. He was bleeding quite a bit. What did he say to our friends? “Hey V, I gotta go. Talk to you tomorrow.”

We worried that he had gotten the femoral artery, so in to the ER we go. You should have heard the nurses laughing when I explained how Co had managed to stab himself there. Six hours and three stitches later, and we’re back at home. I cancel Quad prep v.2, and go to bed.

3 comments:

the Dread Pirate Rackham said...

free lessons...huh huh...

S. Baboo said...

OMG! That reminds me of something from my teen years. I fell asleep with a knife in my bed and woke up with a stab wound on my inner thigh.

Bones said...

Ouch! I give free lessons on how to stick a pair of needle nose pliers through your thumb. Maybe Co and I should swap notes on technique :)